My two year old son is as sweet as can be. He is always happy, moving, singing, dancing, giving hugs and making everyone around him laugh from the second he wakes to the second he goes to bed. I like to think that I parent him with a certain amount of healthy discipline without trying to micromanage every single detail of his life. After all, he’s two. I pick my battles. As long as something isn’t dangerous or extremely inappropriate, it’s okay with me.

As he’s grown a little and I’ve had more opportunities to see him play and interact with other children, I’ve realized that he is different than a lot of other kids his age. Not any better or any worse- just different. He has always been in need of constant stimulation. He has never been okay with standing still or sitting down. He will never go to sleep willingly. He wanders off when he isn’t strapped in a stroller. And I know that this does not have a thing to do with my parenting. He was born this way.

I remember when I first started taking him to story time at the library. He was about 6-9 months old and had just started crawling. He refused to stay with me and crawled right toward the instructor every time. He would cry when I tried to hold him in my lap. I looked around at all the other infants who were sitting happily in their mother’s laps while they did bounces and sang songs and I knew that this would never be us. Although my son was extremely attached to me before this, his curiosity and need to explore had taken over. And I was okay with that.

We still go to story time just about every week and he loves it. His face lights up when we pull up to the library because he can’t wait to get inside. When it’s time to leave he always has a meltdown and I end up dragging him out kicking and screaming. It makes me happy that he loves it so much and so I continue to take him there even though I dread the tantrum when it’s time to go home.

Last week when I took him back for the first time since the library’s “winter break,” I had an unpleasant experience and- just for a second- it made me question my parenting. About 10 minutes into the session, he was standing up in front of the instructor’s seat (as he always does) and she said to him, “Tristan, don’t you want to sit down so that the other kids can see?”- a question that was clearly directed at me since he had no idea what she was saying. Basically, she was telling me to get my kid to sit down.

The first thought that ran through my head (after thinking about some things I’d love to say to her) was, “Should I be making him sit down?” I have tried this before and it just results in him screaming and going limp, and frankly, it just disrupts story time for everyone else there. And secondly, he may be standing up and not sitting in my lap like some other kids but he is fully mentally engrossed and engaged with what you are doing. Most of other kids were just wandering around the room. So after she said this to him, I tried to get him to sit, he flipped out and we walked out story time while he was throwing a huge fit.

I felt bad for leaving. He didn’t want to. But I also felt angry that my two year old was being expected to stay seated. I know that there are plenty of two year olds that can do this but he isn’t one of them. As long as no one else’s experience is being ruined, why ruin his? I’ve decided that next time we go back I will let him stand as much as he wants and if they have a problem with it then I will talk to them afterwards. Sure, I can encourage him to sit, but if he doesn’t want to- what is forcing him going to accomplish?

Yes, he’s high energy. Yes, he keeps me on my toes every second of the day. And yes, it is exhausting a lot of the time. Yet he also amazes me at all that he can do. He really lives life more than anyone I know. Oftentimes I think that he was given to me for these very reasons. He reminds me to cherish every second, to always explore, to never settle and to love fully and without question. He is everything I never was as a child and all that I would love to be.

So next time that he wants to wander, I will take him to a safe environment and follow him around. When he wants to dance, we will have an impromptu dance party regardless of where we are. When he wants to give kisses or hugs, I will take all that I can get. And when he wants to stand I will let him because sometimes life is too exciting to stay seated and that is okay. Actually, it better than okay. It’s wonderful. I love my high energy kid and, if you have one, I know you love yours too.

Today marks your second birthday. I can’t believe it was two years ago that I was in that hospital bed patiently waiting to meet you. It seems like it was just yesterday, but then I can’t seem to remember what life was ever like without you. I will never forget the first time I saw you. You were screaming your head off and I couldn’t believe how much you looked like your daddy. I held you for the first time and felt a peace that I had never known. You were -and still are- so perfect. And all you needed in the world was your mama.

I knew that you would be special and you would grow up to do amazing things. Every day since then you have amazed me in some way and made me feel proud. Most days I have a few moments where I just look at you and can’t believe you are mine. I feel so lucky to be loved by you.

You have grown so much in this past year. You went from being a baby that I toted around everywhere to a very independent boy, anxious to explore and do things on your own. Recently, you have started talking so much more and you say the sweetest and funniest things. Of course my favorite is “love you, mama.” You also love to sing. I don’t think that there is anything sweeter than listening to you sing me a song. And your pride in yourself when you’re done just melts my heart. At least that is one trait that I can say came from me. Never stop singing.

Sometimes it can be hard for me to let you do more things on your own. I find myself wishing you would just stay in my arms a little longer like you used to as an infant. But I’m always thankful for nighttime when you need me right there to hold your hand while you fall asleep and to cuddle in bed when you wake up in the night (yes, still every night ). It makes me glad that you still want to come sleep in our bed because I would miss those cuddles. I know a day will come when you won’t want to. I hope that day is still far away. All that time I spent holding you as an infant, when people would say I needed to let you cry, I don’t regret one minute of it. In fact, I cherish it. Those moments are gone too soon and we can’t get them back.

I’ve learned so much more about you this year. I can see glimpses of the man you will someday be. A bit controlling with the kindest heart, smart, very funny and a natural performer- just to name a few things. My favorite part of you is your kind heart. I like to think it had something to do with your daddy and I nurturing you in every way we could and I hope that it never changes. You are one of the friendliest little boys I have ever known, always expecting the best out of people- a quality that I wish I had more of most days. You are constantly reminding me of what is truly important in life. Because of you I find ways to take joy in the smallest things. It’s funny that my job is supposed to be to teach you everything but you always end up teaching me more.

I’m thankful for having had this year to spend every day with you. Every morning I was able to wake up next to you and see that beautiful smiling face and every night I have put you to sleep. We have spent our days together learning and playing and there is nothing better than that. Watching you become your own person has been amazing and I know it will continue to be in the many years to come. Next year, you will have a little sibling here to play with, but I hope that you know you will always and forever be my baby. I will always think of you as that little angel who wouldn’t let anyone else hold him just wanting to stay cuddled in my arms. I hope you stay a mama’s boy forever and ever. I have never been more proud of you than I am today. You are my sunshine and I love you, Tristan.

Love,

Mama <3

It’s been a while since I’ve written. It has been hard to find the time lately. It seems like we’re always off somewhere new and your just loving all the new experiences.

Yesterday I took you to story time at the library in the morning. I’ve been trying to take you there more often because you really love it. You always walk right into the middle of the circle and stare at the teacher. Your favorite is when we sing songs. You are always dancing and clapping your hands together. At the end of a song you give a big shout and applause for yourself. It is adorable and everyone always smiles and laughs. You eat up every bit of the attention! And who could resist you? You’re so sweet!

After story time, we came home and you took a nap (on me). I can’t seem to get you to nap in your crib. But honestly, I love the fact that you will still sleep on me. I’m gonna take advantage of it as long as possible. I love staring at you while you sleep. It reminds me of how perfect and cuddly you are and time seems to stand still, if only for a little while.

When daddy came home we ate dinner (homemade chicken noodle soup and you LOVED IT!) and then took you to the park to play. You had so much fun. You love to go down the slide now all by yourself and you say “shide shide!!” we took you to walk down a trail and you had a great time picking dandelions and blowing the seeds everywhere. I like to think that you were making some good wishes and that they will all come true. You also had to stop and say “hi-eeee” to every person/dog/worm that passed us by. You are so social and friendly with everyone. I love this about you. You didn’t want to leave when it was time to go and you gave daddy a few smacks- I hope you outgrow this kind of behavior soon.

We came home and took you upstairs to do out bedtime routine. I love this part of the day- winding down to bedtime. It’s so fun to watch you splashing around in the bathtub. And then when you want to get out, I pick you up and nuzzle you in your comfy towel and you hold on tight to me. You are the sweetest little boy there ever was.

I love spending my days with you. There is no other place I’d rather be.
I love you little poot.

Last week I took you on a short trip to Grammy’s house. Daddy had a ton of school work to do and I figured we should let him concentrate on it. So we hopped in the car and headed to Marion Station. You do so much better in the car now that you have your little DVD player and you can watch Mickey Mouse. Thank God for technology!

When we got there it was so beautiful outside and we were hungry so we went to lunch at Waterman’s and got you your first ice cream cone which you devoured on the Crisfield dock. You were an absolute mess but you enjoyed every second of it, and so did I.

After you finished your ice cream, I let you out of the stroller and you ran around the dock trying to chase birds and getting frustrated when they would fly away. It was adorable.

We brought you back to Grammy’s and I gave you a nice long bath in her big claw foot tub. You absolutely loved it. I was worried about putting you to sleep in my old crib at her house. I thought you may be scared of sleeping in that room alone in her house (I still am!) but of course you did great. You cried for about 10 seconds and then went to sleep on your own. Always making me so proud of you little peanut.

The next day we took you to Walmart and to lunch at Unos. Grammy bought you a new bathing suit and your own little chair to sit in at her house. You loved it.

I love watching you with your Grammy. You love to sit on her lap and have her sing to you. I think something in you senses that you are the same blood as her. You really enjoyed being at her house because there was so much new stuff to explore and get into. And I loved watching you take it all in.

You enjoyed spending some time with Grandpa too. When I was packing up to leave I noticed that you had run off and I came out and found you on the porch rocking with him. Such a sweet moment.

You are a lucky little boy to be so loved by so many people. But most of all, mama. I’m glad that you had such a fun few days there. It gives me such joy to see you so happy. You are changing and growing so quickly and it’s amazing to watch.

I love you to the moon and back.

Today Daddy and I took you for a play date in Pennsylvania with your friends Jonah, Sophia and Landon. We went to the park, ate pizza and watched you play together. You were such a happy boy. I notice how big you have gotten when I see you around other kids. You learn so much from them and want to do things just like they do. When we sat down for lunch I let you sit at the kids table with a plate of food in front of you. I was sure that you would throw the plate on the ground like you would at home but you didn’t. You sat there and ate all your food like the other kids. I couldn’t believe it.

When we left you were so tired that you slept all the way home. I love seeing you so worn out because I know that means you had a lot of fun. You’re such a sweet little boy when you’re playing too. Always being considerate of the other kids. How’d I get so lucky?

After we got home and ate dinner, we took you to the playground at our house to play some more. You can climb up and go down the slide by yourself now. You get the biggest smile on your face when you go down like you’re saying “Yay! Mommy, look what I did!” I love to see how proud you are of yourself. I hope that never changes.

I’m hoping that you get some good rest tonight in your crib. You’ve had a little trouble sleeping the past few nights because you have more teeth coming in. It hurts me to know that there isn’t much I can do to make it better. I wish I could take on the pain for you but I can’t. At least once these canine teeth come through you will be done teething for a while!

I love you sweet little man. You are my sunshine.

This past Sunday was your second Easter. It was SO much more fun than the last. We woke up at Uncle Daniel & Aunt Amber’s house. You, Mia and Grace all went over to your Easter baskets and started going through the goodies (although you were a little more interested in theirs than yours). You loved all the candy and plastic eggs. You were nothing but smiles. You love being around family and friends and following Mia and Grace around. I think you wish you were big like them.

We spent all day there. We played outside and had an Easter egg hunt. You held daddy’s hand and walked around and found some eggs. It was so adorable! Then we had a yummy dinner (prepared by Grammy and Aunt Amber) of ham and potatoes and corn. You ate more than I have ever seen you eat. We were sad to have to leave after that but daddy had to work the next day so we had to go home. Luckily, Grammy met us at our house on our way home and stayed an extra night with us because she just couldn’t get enough of your sweetness. You love to have your Grammy around and can sense how much she loves you.

I can’t believe your 2nd Easter has come and gone. Time is passing so quickly. Next year I will be explaining more about the Easter bunny and the real meaning of Easter but for now it’s just candy and family fun. I am enjoying holidays more than I ever have before because I am reliving everything through your eyes. Thank you for being the sweetest little bunny and making my life so full. You amaze me every day.
Love you.
-Mama

We woke up this morning and got ready to go to Aunt Amber and Uncle Daniel’s house for Easter. You played with Daddy all morning while I got things ready and then we hit the road. You were asleep within five minutes and slept the whole ride. You were so excited when we arrived and you saw Grammy and your beautiful cousins and godparents all there to greet you. You have so many people loving you!

We spent the day just hanging out and playing around the house. You loved chasing Mia and Grace around and seemed fascinated looking at them and wondering how they could look so similar to one another. You also loved playing with their doll house and barbies. I figure as long as you’re having fun, who cares what you’re playing with?

I waited until you were absolutely exhausted to put youto sleep in the playpen. I was so worried that you would be scared because you were in a new place and not sleep but you only cried for a few minutes and then fell asleep. Mommy is SO proud of you! You continue to amaze me.

I’m so excited for you to spend Easter with the whole family tomorrow. You are gonna be the cutest little Easter bunny that there ever was!

Mama loves you.

Yesterday we went to the mall- AGAIN. I know I know, I have a bit of a shopping problem but I was determined to find you am extra snazzy Easter outfit. We spent a few hours at the mall and I found nothing. It’s so unfair how much cute stuff they have for girls and nothing for boys. So I settled for buying you a new pair of shoes. Not that you need another pair. You already have more than I do. But I saw these red Sperrys and I could not help myself. You are the best dressed toddler ever. And I have a feeling that you are well aware.

You were very good at the mall. We stopped and had some Chik fil a for lunch but you only wanted french fries. I have a feeling that your eating habits are going to be just like mine.

Daddy came home from work a little early. You were overjoyed to see him like you always are. It’s the best to see you guys having fun together. You are very lucky to have such a great daddy who loves you so very much- and you deserve every bit of it.

We love you so much. You have filled up a space in our lives and made us a family.

P.S. You absolutely hate wearing sunglasses. I’m hoping you get over this by summer

Today daddy took the day off work and we took you to Baltimore to go to Port Discovery. You had so much fun. You had been there once before with me and Grammy but this time I think you enjoyed yourself even more because you’ve grown some since then. They have a great area there for infants and toddlers and you can run around freely and play with all sorts of cool stuff without getting run over by the big kids. Your absolute favorite, though, is what we call the “giant lite brite” it’s very hard to get you to play with anything but that!

After a few hours, we decided it was time to go eat lunch. There was a great pizza place close by where we could eat outside and this worked well for you since you are such a big fan of pizza (just like daddy). We even stopped after this and got you some frozen yogurt for dessert. You were in food heaven.

Before heading home we took you on a nice walk around the Inner Harbor. You seemed to really love it. There were street musicians playing music, a nice cool breeze and tons of people watching too keep you entertained. There was even a huge Coast Guard ship that survived Pearl Harbor for you to look at. It almost made me wish we were raising you in the city. So much entertainment and culture. So much learning and exploring everyday. But I think we will just try to visit a little more often instead. It’s too dangerous to live there!

By the time we made it home you were worn out from all the fun you had today. I love these kinds of days where I know you have taken in so much and really grown. Each new experience that you have, I get to relive too. Thank you for allowing me to see the world through your sweet eyes. Your view always looks so much better than mine.

Sometimes I wonder if you are teaching me more than I am teaching you. I love you.

We came home and played outside since in was so nice out. I bought some bubbles for us to play with but you quickly got frustrated with them because you wanted to blow them yourself but couldn’t figure out how. I guess your still a bit young for them. We also played with your sidewalk chalk which I had to keep removing from your mouth because you love to eat it!

Your most favorite thing to do outside is get the mail. You run over to our mailbox and then look at me and say “tees?” (keys). I give you the mailbox key and you work furiously to try and open it to no avail. You are just too cute for words.

When Daddy came home from work we took you over to Pop Pops house to run around in the yard. You had lots of fun. You love to get into the cupboards over there and pull everything out.

Bedtime was great but you woke up screaming around 12:30am and wouldn’t stop. I nursed you a few minutes and then put you back in your crib. You weren’t happy about it but went to sleep after a little fussing. I’m hoping that this was just a little bump in the road and that you do better tonight.

I love you sweet pea.